The Blueprint We Are Given

In Western society, there is a widely accepted blueprint for becoming a successful, functional adult:

• Maintain good personal hygiene and self-care.

• Cook healthy meals and make good nutritional choices.

• Attend college and earn a degree.

• Find a stable, well-paying career and dedicate yourself to it.

• Maintain meaningful friendships and relationships.

• Pursue hobbies and personal interests.

• Save consistently for retirement, emergencies, and major life goals.

• Purchase a home.

• Get married and raise children.

• Stay physically and mentally healthy throughout all of the above.

Individually, these are not unreasonable goals.

The problem is that this blueprint was created under a different set of economic and social conditions than the ones many young adults face today. Yet it remains the same blueprint being handed to us, often without acknowledging how much the world has changed.

Before discussing why, I think it's important to acknowledge the advantages I have had in my own life.

My Advantages

• I was raised by two parents who valued education and maintained a moderate income. I grew up in a generally stable and supportive household that has continued to support me financially beyond college.

• I am also a member of a federally recognized Native American tribe, which gives me access to some basic healthcare resources when I am able to travel to those clinics.

• Additionally, there is an undeniable privilege that comes with being a white individual in America, and I believe it is important to acknowledge that reality.

• Finally, I consider myself an optimistic person with a strong sense of ambition, responsibility, and personal accountability.

  
  

These advantages matter. They have opened doors and provided support that many people do not have.

And yet, despite these advantages, I still struggle to fit into the traditional blueprint.

My Challenges

Neurodiversity

My neurodiversity creates challenges in modern work environments. Sensory overload, burnout, and cognitive fatigue can occur much more quickly than they do for many others. Success often requires extensive systems, routines, and accommodations simply to maintain the same level of performance expected of everyone else.

Understudied Women's Health

Women were only legally required to be included in clinical trials in the United States in 1993. That means that, when it comes to studying a body like mine, there have only been 33 years of required inclusion in clinical research.

For me, this has meant years of trying to understand symptoms such as brain fog, fatigue, and other health challenges while navigating a healthcare system that still has significant gaps in research and diagnosis.

Economic Instability

The cost of housing, healthcare, education, and everyday necessities continues to rise. At the same time, wages and economic opportunities have not kept pace for many workers.

The result is that milestones once considered normal markers of adulthood often feel increasingly out of reach.

Entering the Workforce Today

I entered the workforce during a time when entry-level opportunities were already highly competitive, and are becoming even more uncertain due to automation and artificial intelligence.

I intentionally chose business school because of its flexibility and practical nature. My great-grandmother was a successful businesswoman who valued integrity and ethical leadership, and I hoped to bring those same values into the business world.

I believed that meaningful change could come from participating in the system and improving it from within.

My Experience After Graduation

I graduated with a Bachelor's degree in Business Administration and approximately $3,000 in student debt—far less than many graduates.

During college, I built what I believed was a strong foundation for success. I completed three internships, served as a Resident Assistant, completed substantial professional projects, and developed strong business acumen and professional skills.

After graduation, I took a brief break before beginning an intensive job search.

I eventually reached the final rounds for a role that felt highly aligned with my goals. After a grueling, multi-stage interview process and a great deal of waiting, I was told I lacked sufficient experience.

Soon afterward, I accepted an administrative position. It wasn't aligned with my degree, but I hoped it would provide valuable experience and open future opportunities.

Instead, I learned the hard way that I could not brute-force my way through a poor job fit.

Between work and commuting, I spent roughly ten hours each day dedicated to a role that often left me feeling underutilized and disconnected from my goals. Despite having little meaningful work at times, I had very little autonomy over my time, which I now realize is a huge workplace need for me.

I began noticing the effects of brain fog, fatigue, and the constant effort required to stay organized and manage my environment. I created systems for everything. I masked sensory challenges. I worked hard to keep up.

At the same time, I felt increasingly desperate to maintain momentum toward the career I actually wanted. I hated the lack of progress toward the career that had been promised to me with a shiny ribbon and a college diploma.

So I added freelance work.

Some days became fifteen-hour workdays.

Eventually, I burned out completely.

I told myself I needed at least a part-time job before moving on and pursuing freelance work, so I secured one.

It was with a startup that, unfortunately, fell through after about a month despite having been stable for roughly two years beforehand.

I still had a freelance client, so I focused on that while continuing to apply for jobs.

Then my car broke down.

The reality was that I needed to be building savings, or I was going to struggle even more. So I started working part-time.

Today, nearly a year and a half after graduation, I continue to develop my skills, study my industry, manage my health, maintain healthy habits, and pursue opportunities.

Yet, according to many cultural narratives, I am failing.

I live with my parents.

I am underemployed.

I have not achieved the milestones that society says I should have achieved by now.

The Question We Rarely Ask

Why do we assume that struggling under these conditions is a personal failure?

Why is living with family treated as shameful when multigenerational households have existed throughout most of human history?

Why is a person's worth so heavily tied to productivity, income, and material success? (If I were into conspiracies, I'd say it was the capitalist agenda.)

But I think the reality is that many people are doing everything they were told to do and still finding that the promised outcomes are increasingly difficult to achieve.

The problem is not that people are failing, but the blueprint.

It's time we change it.

Redefining Success

For far too long, success has been defined primarily through material achievements: income, homeownership, career status, and possessions.

But what if success looked different?

What if success meant having meaningful relationships, maintaining your health, helping your community, and finding joy in everyday life?

What if success meant creating a life that is sustainable rather than simply productive?

Some might find this ironic, since I work in marketing, which some people associate with consumerism. But at its core, marketing is influence. It is storytelling. It is the ability to shape attention and culture.

And I want to use that influence to elevate the right people and the right conversations.

So instead of asking what you've accomplished lately, I'll ask a different question:

What has been making you happy lately?

Because what if that is truly the measure of success worth paying attention to?